This morning I turned on my usual morning show on television, Fox 4 News, and as most people were, was shocked to discover that Don Harman had died yesterday evening. It's odd how you can feel sad about the death of someone that you didn't know personally, but I, along with thousands of others, found myself with that feeling this morning. Don was someone who could bring a smile to your face with his off the wall humor and antics and we're all going to miss that.
I don't know all the circumstances surrounding his death, other than knowing that he did take his own life. One of the leading causes of suicide is depression. For years, I thought, and I preached, that depression was a tool of the devil and you could pray your way out of it. While I still believe that to be true, and honestly believe that God can deliver you from anything and everything, including depression, I also have found that depression is a real thing. It is a scientifically proven medical condition that requires medical treatment as well.
For years I preached that you didn't need Prozac, Xanax, or any other prescription to get rid of your depression and sorrow, you just needed Jesus. Well, I found out the hard way, even people who have Jesus can still suffer from depression. I don't publicize the fact that I went through a severe state of depression a few years ago. I lost a grandmother in March 2003, was extremely busy with preaching, with my job, and numerous other things and somewhere along the way entered into a severe state of depression. I don't know how it happened, I don't know why it happened, I don't know exactly what it was that triggered it, but I do know that I needed medication, as well as the Lord to deal with it. I've been ridiculed by other christians, or people who claim to be christian, that if I want to get rid of the depression, I just need to get right with God. Well, I feel that my relationship with the Lord is strong, and growing stronger everyday, but guess what, I still take Prozac. Why? Because I have a chemical imbalance, a medical condition that requires medication. There's nothing wrong with taking medicine because you're sick. If you have an infection, you take an antibiotic. If you have a toothache, you go to the dentist. Depression is just like either one of those, it's real. Even though you can't see and infection, it has an effect on your body. Even though you can't see a toothache, you have no doubt that you have one because it hurts. Depression is the same way. Even though it can't be seen, it's there. Even though it might not cause something to grow on your body, it's something that effects your entire being. There is help out there.
No one really knew how hard I was struggling with the depression. Dealing with the public, you learn how to put on your happy face and smile and wave and be happy, but on the inside you're breaking into a million pieces. I prayed, I asked God to help me, I took time off work, I took a vacation, I saw a psychologist, I did everything I knew to do and nothing was helping. And, I was getting sicker. I needed medicine becuase I was sick! Once I finally got on the medication, I began to get back to feeling more like myself and I haven't regretted it one single day! God gave someone the knowledge to create this drug, so I don't feel one ounce less christian because I take it! In fact, I thank God for giving someone this knowledge.
We never really know what someone is going through because society has taught us that no one really cares about how we feel or what we're going through. That's not true. First, and foremost, God cares. He understands us better than anyone and He will help us. But, we also have to help ourselves. There is medication out there to help those of us with the disease of depression and we have to realize that when we're sick, we have to take medicine. We also have to realize that we have friends who are there for us and they do care. I remember going to see one of my closest friends, who happened to be in Des Moines at the time, but I knew I could talk to him and he'd do everything he could to help. In fact, he's the one that suggested starting some medication. I had been led to believe that depression was strictly a spiritual disease and that just isn't true. While it is a spiritual battle, as well as most things in our lives, it is an illness that requires treatment. I used to think that being an alcoholic or drug addict was a choice, it's not, it's a disease, an illness and it requires treatment as well. To many times we over spiritualize things and forget the fact that these bodies we have here on earth are not spiritual bodies. They do get sick, they do require medicine, they do require treatment because we live in bodies and in a world that is sin stricken.
I'm sure some out there will say that I must not be a very good christian if I don't believe that God can heal me from depression, and that's fine. If that's the worst they're saying about me, I'm doing pretty good then:) But, those are probably the same people who would watch their loved one die in agony and pray for God to heal them, but refuse to use the good common sense God gave them to go seek help from a doctor. I have no doubt that God can heal and cure all things, I know He can. But, there are times in our lives when God doesn't give that miraculous healing and we have to bear the cross of a sickness. While we bear that cross, we can seek help from doctors, medicine, technology and find some help from those sources, as well as the Lord, and still be christians.
Until we get to Heaven, these mortal and corruptible bodies that we have, will have diseases, sicknesses, illnesses, addictions, along with so many other trials, but I want to encourage you not to ignore these things. They are real. Just because you can't see depression, I'm here to tell you, it's as real as I am. Just because you can't see someone breaking apart on the inside doesn't mean that it's not happening, it's real. And just as real as these things are, there is help out there and not one thing wrong with seeking it. As you walk with the Lord, I hope and pray that you're relationship with Him allows you to remember that you and I are human and God has given us some human tools that we can use to make it through this life until He heals us all completely in that place where there will be no more sickness!
If you see someone hurting, someone who maybe just needs a hug or a smile, be a blessing and allow the Lord to love them through you!
Will, this is beautifully said. Thank you for addressing this. Like you, I got up with Don Harmon every morning and feel I knew him. He was from all we have seen, very devoted to helping others. Let us hope that from the tradegey of his death others will learn to seek help when needed. God Bless you Will.
ReplyDeleteWill, thank you for sharing. You're ability to minister right to the heart of those in need has always been a trait I have admired in you. God Bless!
ReplyDeleteWill, I appreciate your words. I too have heard about how I was apparently needing to be right with God as I struggle with my depression. I saw a counselor through my church who understands that sometimes medication is what one may need as well as God. He also gave me a wonderful book that explains the detrement to nes faith when one receives the "Get right with God" as an only solution. Its called "Changes That Heal" by Dr. Henry Cloud, I recommend this to anyone struggling with a decision between spirituality and medicinal memtal help.
ReplyDeleteWill, you said in your blog that you don't know why or how it happened. I want to encourage you that it is for a time such as now, when people need to understand it. Sometimes the best person to minister is to have gone through it yourself. God is obviously using this as a way for you to reach others and draw them to Him. I am positive that your experience and explanation has helped someone out there realize that it is not weakness or lack of faith to admit that they can't do it on their own. I am assured that your words have caught them at the exact moment they needed them.
ReplyDeleteWow...thanks for putting that in perspective! I've often wondered about people that have commit suicide and how God judges it. God is always just and fair and now that you said what you said..maybe he doesn't judge it any differently then someone dying from cancer or anything else. He understands where they are coming from better than anyone else...Right??
ReplyDeleteVery well said Will. I too have been there but mine was a five year stretch-and you don't magically wake up one day healed but slowly but surely you start seeing and feeling yourself come back. I encourage friends to try and be patient with each other if you know something isn't right-get them talking (which doesnt always work because that was the last thing I wanted to do and didn't do much of), just keep contact as often as you can so they do know they aren't alone, and recognize that your friend may not act like it but they do need you more than ever. Depression is a tricky thing-for someone to tell me I'm not a Christian because I take a "happy pill"well I agree with Will-if that's the worst you can say about me I'm ok with that.
ReplyDeleteThank You for sharing your experience. I have battled Chronic Clinical Depression / Brain Chemistry Imbalance nearly ALL of my life. I am 65 and can recall the horrible feelings of wanting to die as far back as 8 yrs of age. I too had been told GOD could heal me. Well, I am not healed, but am being treated, BECAUSE GOD gave people the intelligence to study this condition, (of which there are many forms) the ability to discover medications to treat this condition. Something a lot of people do NOT realize is that there are two types of depression, Situational, and Clinical. The first being a down in the dumps because of situations in ones life, and Clinical, that which requires medical treatment. I am no expert, other than nearly 60 years of experience. I have told people who THINK I SHOULD be able to control this.. Hey, if I broke a leg, you would get me to a doctor where I would be treated with a cast to help heal the break, and be given crutches. Depression is like a broken bone.. it requires diagnosis, treatment, and chemical crutches.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you didn't have to struggle for years before you received treatment, that you understand your condition, and that you are willing to discuss it with the world. The more those of us who have first had knowledge of depression discuss, the more others will come to recognize it as a medical condition. How funny, that for so long a chemical imbalance was given names like, insanity, crazy, emotionally disturbed and etc. People had compassion for those who were suffering from injuries, or disease, but were shunned if they were thought to have "SOMETHING WRONG" otherwise.
Though I am not a depressed person, I understand it. Depression has been defined as deep sadness which lasts over two years.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking lately that Depression is stagnation....just as a stream will stagnate if it is blocked...so will the mind or the body stagnate if left without movement for a period of time....
So...the question becomes...how does one get the life flowing again...whether it be chemicals which occur naturally in the body, energy, spiritual health, or physical health...I do see medications are an answer for some...but...maybe there is another perspective if one chooses not to use medications.
I think tI can do these thing to get my mind/body/spirit flowing again...
1. Pray...or meditate in prayer...breathe deeply and open the mind pushing out negative thoughts...I visualize the light of God in my mind...works for me and allows me to listen to his loving perspective and guidance.
2. Move...move my body by walking, deep breathing, exercise...
3. Eat healthy
4. Put myself into service..You may have known my mom, Georgia Doyle....she used to say...get up and stop having a pity party....
So...when I am in service to others...whether it be a smile at the grocery store, a flower or cookies for a neighbor, or service in my house of worship...I am no longer into myself when I am in service...
5. Be grateful. I like grateful lists....three things per day and I don't let myself repeat the same three things two days in a row....
Pretty soon...there will be more advancements in understanding depression and how to get the natural energy movements of the body going again...Great book about this is: THe Suble Body Illustrated Guide
Thanks Will for your perspective.....always hits home for me!! Hugs! K
You have done such a WONDERFUL job of putting your feelings down....I admire you for doing it! Not everone wants to hear or know such things about people. I too have suffered & still do from depression (for over 25 yrs) & I also thank God for my meds. Kainsworth I very much agree with you. I am a very firm beliver that something good always comes out of bad, we might not know what it is for days, months or even years but God has his reason & plan.
ReplyDeleteWell thought-out and nicely written, Will. I've wrestled off and on with depression for many years. I kept much of it to myself until others started asking about their own problems. This led me to write Mental Health and Spiritual Well-Being and other articles on the topic.
ReplyDeleteWillie I just wanted to take a moment to tell you thank you for sharing your thoughts on depression. I am positive that it has been helpful to many in fact I know of at least 10 people personally that have read your thoughts and found them to be inspirational. I feel that when we ask God to give us courage he sometimes blesses us with opportunities to be courageous for others. In this same way he forgives us, he also gives us opportunities to forgive others. When we want to be free from fear he helps us by giving us opportunities to be fearless.
ReplyDeleteI was one of the people that had thought that Depression was preventable if you just try a little harder or if you refuse to be weak. God has opened my eyes to just how hard Depression can be to deal with for the person who suffers from the depression and for the family and true friends that get the opportunity to help the person to move forward even though they don't feel like moving forward. The task is one that should help all involved to grow closer together. Fear, hopelessness, sadness worthlessness or whatever form a depression can take on are very real and powerful feelings that can have a long term and lasting effects on all of the people involved.
I know now that God is Blessing me to be courageous, forgiving and fearless and I will tell you that it is very hard at times. But the people that are dealing with the depression are worth the effort. Depression is very real and I think that it is irresponsible to pass it off lightly as a weakness or an unwillingness to do or get better.
Take the opportunities to be fearless, courageous and forgiving when others need you, be a good person. Give what you can, keep trying to motivate them even when they push you away. Try something different until you find what works. Draw strength from God, speak to him daily, feel free to lay your trouble at his feet and know that he will guide you so that you can stay strong for the person or people that depend on you. Don't take comments or actions personally. Most of all, remember that you can be the most effective tool to a person who is suffering from depression to get better. They will always remember that you were there for them when they needed you the most.
God is giving you the opportunity to be Courageous, Do the best you can with the opportunity. Some can be courageous for themselves with the help of medication. if you have the opportunity to be courageous for someone who needs it than do the best you can with that opportunity.
It is really important!!!